I am sympathypregnant.

Yes. That's right. I am sympathizing with the pregnant, feeling as though I myself am pregnant, which I’m not. Just too many pregnant people around me, I guess. My feet are swollen, I’m sweating (even though Mother Earth is clearly confused and has made this day in May feel like late autumn/early winter.), I pee every two minutes (no problem, you’re welcome for this piece of too much information!), and I’m craving... well, nothing in particular. Craving for anything, really.

On the other hand – I might just be tired and/or lazy today.

Either way, today is not the first day of the rest of my life. I suppose it would be if I really was pregnant and just happened to give birth today. The first day of the rest of my nappy-changing, baby-comforting, breastfeeding life. I think we’ve established by now that that is not the first bulletin pointed piece of paper on my Life Agenda.

So. Agenda. I like lists, and I like Action Plans. To-do-lists are my rescue in times of horror and unbelievable stress. Which is why I, in these babypoppin’ days, feel like settling down with a what-I-am-doing-this-weekend-list (PS! for what you’re about to read – I’m sorry. It just had to be done. Sent out into the Universe which is the Internet, giving me zero excuses to do nothing for the next 2.5 days):

1. Change bedding
2. Find plausible plot for book (must stop writing just for the sake of writing. It really brings no sense of fulfilment – inside (soulwise) or in money sack (not that I have a money sack. Although – I do realize now that I want one!))
3. Wash stuff, including clothes
4. Go to grocery store – tired of eating bread, must have good dinner. And eggs. For breakfast.
5. Attempt to make new header for blog
6. Must fix broken drawer
7. Design money sack
8. Sleep until I wake up au naturelle

Oh, the joyous life of being able to complete all 8 goals before I turn on the TV tonight. Well. It depends, I guess. On how comfortable and alluring absolutely everything else seems. For the most part. Or how much I really don’t want to do anything.

They say pregnant people mustn’t stress, don’t they? Not do any heavy lifting or other forms of intense labour?

Ah, the joy of being pregnant without actually being pregnant! I could live like this for a while, and at the same time think of a way in which that in itself could make me a very rich individual. I’m sure it’s doable – someway, somehow, somewhere!

9. Be lazy for a long period of time, and at the same time making sure that a steady stream of cash is going in to money sack